I held herhands and gazed into her eyes. The Lady Sakkara wasn't exactly LadyJacinta in the friendship stakes, but in a strange city she might be awelcome ally against boredom.This was one thing in particular that I loved about being a woman on Gor- the ability to pass perfectly as a woman myself and therefore to havefemale friends who regarded me as their own sex. Trite as it may sound,I longed for a circle of girlie friends with whom I could spend theafternoons in the shade of a garden, sipping wine, swapping gossip andtalking about the latest imported cloths in the market place. Women onGor do have wonderful clothes, actually, even though they are forced tobare little to no skin. The outer gowns themselves can be made fromstrikingly beautiful material, and beneath those gowns there is muchscope for wearing all manner of fashions provided the outer gown itselfdoes the job of protecting a woman's modesty. I would probably have towear a plain black haik when out on the streets, but. Humm maybe a stay at the rubber romper room won't be sobad? But after a few weeks I stopped going I felt that it wasn't reallyhelping me any, all she would do it set up these goals for me to achieveand say I needed to get out more, to meet new people. Please, duh.Then I started to realize something, something I could not believe I hadmissed before. My depression now as in the past were all the same, theywere all about me hating my life. Why? Why would I hate my life? I had agood job, I was financially secure, what was holding me back from livinglife, why was I so afraid?Then it dawned on me, everything was so clear, how could I have gone solong without seeing it!The problem was me! All these years I wasn't being true to myself and Ididn't even realize it. While I had desired to be a women for so long Ihad only ever dreamt of it a few times, most of my normal dreams wereabout me being male and filled with aggression and hostility. They werethe elements of my subconscious, the opposite.
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